Confidentiality means confidentiality! If someone confides in you to keep some information to yourself, the honorable thing to do is just that. Too often we are tempted to share private information with our dearest friend or family member. Once we have broken the promise made to another person or party, we have shown disregard and disrespect for the other person’s privacy. If we tell one other person what has been shared with us, there was a breach. Sometimes the news is so hot, we just can’t keep it to ourselves!
A person who breaks confidentiality is someone who shares or uses private information without proper authorization, violating an agreement to keep the information secure.
There is a danger in a person saying to you, “You are the only person I am telling this, so please keep it to yourself.” The danger is in the fact that several other people may have already been told. A suggestion is to let the other party know straight up that if the information gets out and spreads, it will not be from your mouth. There are times when persons share information with us with the hopes of it being disseminated, even though they give the impression it is top secret.
There are some people who spend a large portion of their day sharing and talking about someone else’s affairs. Beware of news carriers, for if they talk to you about everybody else’s business, trust me, they will share yours. It just so happens that there are some folks who have a desire to know everybody else’s business. If we take time to concentrate on our own affairs, time will not permit us to indulge in someone else’s concerns or interest. A safe avenue to take is for us to mind our own affairs and leave everybody else’s alone. For me, the less I know about your matters, the better off I am. For if we are not aware of private information regarding another person, we remain in a safety zone.
Are there times when it is permissible to break confidentiality? Yes. If a person may be an immediate danger to themself or someone else, then they are obligated to do so for the well-being of the person. If a person is endangering the well-being and safety of another, who may not be able to protect themselves, then so be it.
Recently, a friend who was very disappointed because a close family member had divulged information to another family member after being asked not to share it with anyone. Thirty minutes or less after the information was told to the supposedly confidant, the news spread like wildfire. My friend was not as concerned about the private information being shared as he was the family member’s breach.
A lesson learned is to let people tell their own news. We should not be the ones to initiate conversations regarding other’s private matters without receiving their authorization.
All of us, I am sure, have family members, friends and neighbors who are busy bodies. They always have their nose stuck in everybody else’s affairs. Be careful, they may be a detriment to your reputation and well-being.
The Bible says that confidentiality is a mark of a trustworthy and faithful person. It warns against revealing secrets, especially those that can harm others or damage relationships. It also advises not to associate with a gossiper or slanderer, who spreads rumors and exposes secrets (Kingjamesbibleonline.org).
In Mark 1:41-42, Jesus heals a man of leprosy. Jesus sent him away at once with a strong warning, ‘See that you do not tell this to anyone.”
We would think that Jesus would want the miracle of healing the man shared with everyone. But Jesus knew that if the word got out about the miracle, it might hinder His mission and be a distraction to His message. Look closely at the story and we see that is exactly what happened. Because the man was so excited about his healing, he disobeyed. As a result, Jesus had to move His ministry away from the city and into the desert region. He could no longer enter a town openly, so he stayed outside in lonely places.
Every person is entitled to privacy, may we respect their wishes.
Just my thoughts!
Robert Earl Slade, Pastor
