There are several meanings of the word reconciliation, but I prefer the one used by Oxford Languages which defines it as the restoration of friendly relations. Think about the definition for a moment and ask yourself, “Are there persons in my life that I need to reconcile or get right with?”  

The reason this message is written is because of the many families and friends who have unnecessary divisions and squabbles to exist, sometimes for years. In my counseling to persons, too often the subject raises its ugly head. It is sad when you hear a child or parent say that they have not spoken to each other for years because of their differences, behaviors or beliefs. May I admonish every parent and person today to put forth a concerted effort to fix whatever is causing you anxiety or pain relative to a family or personal matter. The parent being the senior person can take the lead in resolving whatever the problem may be. Pick up the phone right now and dial that number or get on the plane and go and knock on your child’s door. Just maybe the child has to be the bigger person of the two and reach out to the parent. Imagine going to your grave, either of the two, with hatred or dislike for each other in your heart.

The same holds true for an estranged friend. Extend the olive branch and if it is not received, move on!   

There was once upon a time in the church when time set aside for a moment of reconciliation or passing the peace. Everyone in the worship service would pause for about two minutes, get up and embrace or greet each other in love. Just in case there was someone who had an aught against the other, the opportunity was there for them to make-up in church. Matthew 5:23-24 says, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”       

Can you imagine two sisters, biological, attending church each Sunday and never speaking or acknowledging the presence of the other. They would avoid each other in the sanctuary as if they had a plague. The truth of the matter was that they had not spoken to each other for years and I was told that I would be wasting my time if I, as pastor, tried to get them to reason one with the other. The pain and hatred for each one was so deep that the children on both sides had issues with forging relationships. To make matters even worse, they lived across the street from each other, but never acknowledged even the presence of the other. There are times a pastor is told to mind his or her own business because of the confidentiality related to a situation.

Just imagine your child being killed in an automobile accident and the two had an estranged relationship for over twenty years. Or, imagine your parent being killed and there was no contact or speaking to the other for years. Now the parents have to live with the pain and agony of losing a child who was a stranger to them. How do you survive apart from each other when grandbabies are involved? Wow!

If we are familiar with the epistles of the apostle Paul, we realize his theology of reconciliation is rooted in the teachings of Jesus Christ. Paul places great emphasis on love, forgiveness and unity being demonstrated by Christians. He may be credited with suggesting that we address issues of division, forgiveness and restoration of relationships.    

Forget about who needs to initiate the effort of establishing a truce.  Take the lead and just do it. Even if a person has hurt you badly, put it all in God’s hands because he knows what is right and what is wrong in all of our business. Christians know that there is a verse in the Bible that says, vengeance is mine” found in Romans 12:19. The emphasis is that we should never seek personal revenge, for vengeance belongs to God.                     

Sadly, we cannot go back into the past and correct all of our wrongs, but we can start now by making amends. Suely, all of us have regrets about things we said and did, but our Christian Walk with God should cause us to reach out in love. Try it and if it fails, at least you feel better for trying.    

Just my thoughts!

Robert Earl Slade, Pastor